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Stop Comparing Yourself To Others

Thu Nov 12, 2015, 11:56 AM

Skin designed & coded by CypherVisor


Hi there,


in the last couple of days one topic always came up again and I just realised something! Not everything is as it seems. What a surprise (not!) but let's get a bit into detail here because we really like believing things are exactly like we imagine them to be!

While having talks one to one with friends and being honest with each other it came out that everyone of us thought the other one had 'made' it or at least was nearer to their personal goals then oneself. That clearly shows that we never really know what's going on in the other persons head and heart and that we only compare ourselves to what we think the other persons 'perfect' life looks like.

Someone like me (freelancer) oftentimes finds herself jealous of the ones having a steady income and job security. They don't have to worry about when they are sick and/or unpaid holidays. On the other hand someone in a regular job, might think deciding everyday anew when to stand up and if and how much to work is something to be jealous about. Not that you can really do this if you want to earn a living ;)

That said we oftentimes only see what we wished we had and not what's attached to that 'benefit'. 

So for me personally there is only one solution:


 Compare yourself only to your past self. 


And that's a tough one!


Because it means you really have to evaluate what you have accomplished say for example 2014 and if 2015 was an improvement to that. I'm not necessarily talking here about a bigger pay check. It can and should include everything important in your life. Did you take better care of your relationships? Did you finally sign up for the dance lessons you always wanted to try out? Did you finish the painting you care about so much that you are to afraid to finish it? The list goes on and on. 

When we compare ourselves to our past selfs we really see what we did and did not accomplish! We see if we really did our best to evolve and become a better person/artist/wife/friend/'insert what is most important to you'. And we can't hide from it!


Which is also the reason why we like to compare ourselves. It's much easier to say person B had it so much better because she/he comes from a rich family or because her/his husband/wife isn't holding her/him back. We can find excuses for ourselves and be jealous. On the other hand we also can say how much better we do and that person C really should turn their life around. Bitching about other people allows us to ignore our own forgotten dreams and have something to talk about.

To make sure I get out of this trap, I started to really have a look at who my friends are a few years back. The ones left now are the ones that inspire me every time we talk, no matter how short the exchange. They are the ones that pick me up when I'm down and don't talk bad behind my back. They are the ones that really care.

And most importantly for me right now:


When we talk, we talk about our plans, our future, our hobbies, our new friends. We talk about the things life could be and how we can get there together. There is no bitching and no envy. We are excited if the other ones gets closer to their dreams and we fuel on it and grow ourselves as well! That doesn't mean we don't talk about heartache and feeling lost sometimes, but we do so to get over it in a joined effort and learn from the experience. And since then I feel so much better about myself and truly believe that I will change for the better year for year.

Also one thing if you should decide to compare yourself only to yourself in the future! Don't think everything is lost, because maybe the last years weren't like you hoped or thought they were. There is no right or wrong. There is just the making of experiences and learning from it. If the last year wasn't like you imagined, try to figure out what the reasons where and work on them!

Also keep in mind that we are the only ones responsible for ourselves. So don't look for others to blame. Surround yourself with people that motivate and inspire you! That support your dreams even if it's not what they dream about and push you in the right direction. Also don't forget to give back! Be the friend you want your friends to be for you!


 PS: If you have interest in more journals like this one, let me know and I make sure to share my experiences with you! I think we all can learn a lot from each other and since I did a lot of research on productivity and goal setting over the last years I would love to share! :hug:

Also please share your thoughts on the topic, like I said we all can learn a lot from each other! That would be amazing!


Many thanks for reading! :bademoticon: 

  • Reading: Dragonriders of Pern
  • Playing: Persona 3 FES

Skin designed & coded by CypherVisor


Hi guys,

I'm very active on deviantart yet again, uploading nearly daily all my imaginative work and studies I'm doing to improve.
I finally have found a work schedule for myself that seems to work very well and I can now use the weekends to study full time. As a freelancer
it's always really hard to balance work, my own art, studies and free time, because there is no one there to check on you :D

Point is I finally manage to get all my work done every day until 4pm in the latest, so that afterwards I have time for personal project as
well as meeting with friends. Due to working from home I really need to get out in the evening because otherwise I never see anyone other then
my boyfriend. And believe me you go crazy after two weeks time.

That said the weekends are free for studies, which is amazeballs. Because I don't feel bad anymore because work is stacking up or I still need to
do this or that. For now I'm concentrating on the following two to study.

Saturdays are reserved for Scott Robertson's 'How to Draw' and 'How to Render' books. If you want to get into concept art and can afford them,
go get them! If not I would recommend checking out his youtube channel. He is already sharing a lot of his knowledge there for free, so it's a great
way to start. For those of you scared of perspective, which are a lot of artists, just try it out. If you get the basics down they will help you with
everything you draw or paint. Even the human figure will highly improve through the knowledge. Don't think perspective is just there for the ones
drawing vehicles and environments all the time. Besides as soon as you have fully understood the basic principles you can quite well fake perspective
and don't need to go in the nitty gritty every time you do a piece of artwork.

For now I concentrate on 'How to Draw' only, because what use are great rendering skills if the underlying drawings sucks :D

I use my new A4 Leuchtturm1917 sketchbook (it has amazing paper by the way) exclusively for that, so I hope in the end I can show you a whole book full of crazy line drawings!

On Sundays, because luckily the weekend has two days to spare, I concentrate on Noah's Art Camp yet again. I was one of those joining right away
when he created it back in 2013 and I enjoyed it immensely. Only problem was, back then I was just starting to build up my freelance business and
therefor spend a lot of time and care to get my work just right, to make my first clients happy and also get great portfolio pieces out of the work
I did for them. Doing Art Camp next to it was insane from the start, but Noah thought back then that f.e. for week 01 doing
  • 50 compositional value studies of master paintings
  • 50 color studies of master paintings
  • and 3 full rendered studies of master paintings
is manageable. I think for the ones having holidays/being unemployed/already advanced it was possible but the rest of use just died. 

I did the 50 value studies, 18 of the color studies and 1 of the full studies and afterwards I had carpal tunnel syndrome. I did a bit of week 2 and 3 still but then I had to stop. Also I only could draw for around 2h/day for the next year and a half. So it really was and sometimes still is a big problem for me!

It's not Noahs fault of course, I should have realised that the pain was to much and wouldn't go simply away especially if I kept drawing. But I wanted to manage the amount of homework so much and yeah... stupid me, but I learned my lesson.

Noah seems to have learned it too, because now there are 3 different versions of the assignment, the normal, hard and insane assignment. The one we did
back then was the insane one, who would have thought xD

Having sad all that, I will go with the normal version this time. I still have problems with my wrist and I don't want to make it worse again now that I finally can work 4h+/day again. For all you artists out there with big dreams, please take care of yourself and your body. Take enough breaks in between work and make sure you stop drawing if it starts hurting. That's something you will carry with you for the rest of your life if you are not careful and there are way worse cases then mine out there. And I couldn't do my job right for two years already!

Best thing I can recommend is building up your strength. Try to get your muscles strong, especially back, shoulders & arms! Because those nerves go all the way to your back, it's not your wrist only you might screw up if you are not careful!

But back to more positive things :) I will now study every weekend and can't wait to see the improvements it will bring!

I will keep you up to date and if you have any questions regarding work-life balance or dealing with carpal tunnel syndrome please let me know, I think I can share a few things in that regard!

I hope you are having a great Sunday, I'm back off to study some more!

All the best,
Sandra

  • Reading: Dragonriders of Pern
  • Playing: Persona 3 FES

deviantID

Wundertastisch's Profile Picture
Wundertastisch
Sandra
Artist | Professional | Varied
Germany










Wundertastisch
Artist | Professional | Varied

I really enjoy drawing. So I became a 2D Game Artist & Animator.

It's my full-time job. If you want to call sitting in my pjs on my desk
and doing all day what I love most a job. It would be nice if you would.
It's hard work. But I wouldn't want it any other way.

Critique me and I'm forever yours. Nitpicky as you like. I will actually
adore you. And I will give you constructive feedback as well.

Always looking for new freelance opportunities.

Participant of Noah's Art Camp 1 & 2
one of the best resources to improve your art : )














Comments


Add a Comment:
 
:icondesertxue:
desertxue Featured By Owner Nov 18, 2015  Student Artist
Thank you for the comment and the watch! (Right back at ya!) ;D

You have such gorgeous designs. Keep up the good work, I'm excited to see more!
Reply
:iconwundertastisch:
Wundertastisch Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2015  Professional General Artist
Aww thank you so so much :) I will try my very best :D
I have to check out your new stuff too. Hopefully I will find time
this weekend <3 I wish you a nice rest of the week! :hug:
Reply
:icondesertxue:
desertxue Featured By Owner Dec 1, 2015  Student Artist
Thanks, you too! Hug 
Reply
:iconsilent-rage:
silent-rage Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
lol, that's one of my favorite German words!
Reply
:iconwundertastisch:
Wundertastisch Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2015  Professional General Artist
That's funny because it isn't actually a german word. At least not in that combination :D 
We have 'wunderbar' in the german language which means wonderful and 'fantastisch' which
is fantastic in English. Wundertastisch is my own mix up of those two words because I like
them a lot and I love creating new words just for fun :D 
But thank you so much I love it too <3 :hug:
Reply
:iconsilent-rage:
silent-rage Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2015  Professional Digital Artist
yeah i did the same thing after i moved to germany. German seems to have a lot of those "bashed" together words anyways, so a few new ones couldn't hurt. :D
Reply
:iconwundertastisch:
Wundertastisch Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2015  Professional General Artist
Yep you are absolutely right about that! :D Are you still in Germany? For work? :)
Reply
(1 Reply)
:iconhubert61:
hubert61 Featured By Owner Nov 8, 2015
merci pour les favs :)
Reply
:iconwundertastisch:
Wundertastisch Featured By Owner Nov 9, 2015  Professional General Artist
You are most welcome! :)
Reply
:icononewiththestars:
OneWithTheStars Featured By Owner Oct 29, 2015  Hobbyist General Artist
Thanks for all the kind comments and the watch! :hug:
Reply
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